I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.