The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.