(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.