You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?

...the elephant smoked too much.

The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.