He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?