Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.

I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.