If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.

If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.

Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.

In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.

Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.