Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.

In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.

People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.

Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers

My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.

If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.

Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.