In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.

I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.

I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.

Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.

If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.

On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?

I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.