Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.

If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.

Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.

Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.

My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.

I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.