If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.

People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.

If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.

I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.

In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.

On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?

Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.