I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.

Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get caught shoplifting and go to Holloway [women's prison].

Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.

I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.

I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.

I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.

My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.