If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.

Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.

I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.

In my 20s I was going round seeing agents who were patronising because I was fat and a girl, which was a double whammy. I knew what it was to feel out-of-the-loop.

You know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.

I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.

People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.