Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.

Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers

If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.

I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.

I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.

Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.

I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.