I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
Victoria WoodIn my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
Victoria WoodMy massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.
Victoria WoodOn a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
Victoria Wood