Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.

When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.

Never give a sucker an even break.