I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.

I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.

The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.