The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I drink therefore I am.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.