I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.