I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. FieldsUltimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. FieldsNever try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FieldsWe frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine whisky.
W. C. Fields