Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

I'm looking for loopholes.

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.