Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.