All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.

The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.

I'm looking for loopholes.

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.