All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!

Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.