There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent.
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.