I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .

I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.

I like children - fried.