Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
Never give a sucker an even break.
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.