I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.