Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.