I drink therefore I am.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.

I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.

A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.