I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.

I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.

A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him; and it usually does.

It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.

Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!

I like children. If they're properly cooked.