A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

I never drink water... fish f**k in it.

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.