A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.

Never work with animals or children.

Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.