A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck

I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.