What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I never drink water... fish f**k in it.

Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?

I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.