I never eat before breakfast.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.

Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.

All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.