I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.

If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.

No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.