I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

I drink therefore I am.

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.

All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.