You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.

When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.

I'm looking for loopholes.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.