You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

Never give a sucker an even break.

I like children. If they're properly cooked.

The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!