You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.

I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.

Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!

All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.