If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

I drink therefore I am.

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.