No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.