Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.