My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.

I like children. If they're properly cooked.

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.