My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.