Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.

The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.

I drink therefore I am.

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.