I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

It is funnier to bend things than to break them.

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.

Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.