If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.