I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.