I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.