If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

I like children. If they're properly cooked.

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.