Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.

I never eat before breakfast.

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?