It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night