There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!

The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.