I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent.

There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.

I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.

I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.