I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck

It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.

I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.