Never work with animals or children.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.