I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

I like children - fried.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!